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January Risk

1/30/2015

I must have been ready to risk because I have embraced this word and idea faster than I thought I would!

Taking a "risk" is so different for each person. We each have doubts and insecurities that are given too much power in our day to day living. We all need encouragement to try something new, take a chance, and stretch ourselves.
Sometimes telling our story is also a significant risk....

A risk I took on January 4 was to put away my bathroom scale. The seemingly random numbers we assign as important have been dictating my mood and how I view myself for way too long.
Scales are an important tool in monitoring weight especially as one tries to lose weight. (or for some folks gain weight) Years ago I lost a significant amount of weight and being able to numerically watch it come off was encouraging.

As time went on and I changed my lifestyle, I didn't need the scale as a tool as much as I once did. I kept weighing myself...daily. As you know the numbers fluctuate from day to day. Intellectually I know that is normal but emotionally I would beat myself up if they were not what I was hoping for when I stepped on. That high or low connected to the scale would stay with me the rest of the day. Why would I let that happen?! There are so many great things about my life. Why would I let this randomly assigned number dictate my self-worth?

I don't know what happened on January 4. Maybe I was just tired of the emotional up and down. Maybe it was my word - RISK - that made me try something new. I have not gotten it out since then. To be clear...I have wanted to - a lot! It is hard to let go of something that had so much power over me. But I haven't....and my jeans still fit.

Maybe that was one of my fears. Would I lose control? Would I gain all that weight back that I worked so hard to lose? I have been eating healthy and working out. That is important and it feels good. What feels even better is not letting something outside of me control how I value myself. I begin most days feeling centered and peaceful. Ironically...I feel lighter!

~Pam

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Nurturing Faith with Conversation

1/12/2015

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Sunday School yesterday was perfect!

     It wasn't perfect because everything went according to plan or because all the teachers have a professional teaching background or because the all children were little angels. It was perfect because adults and children were deeply authentic with one another sharing both times of silence and conversation as imperfect but totally loved children of God.

     We tried something new. We gathered the 3rd -6th grade classes together for large group and small group conversation. Together we watched a segment of a DVD from Weird Animals VBS (Group Publishing) about being different and how we are all God's masterpiece. As I introduced the story, I asked everyone if there have been times they felt different: in school, on a team, at church or maybe in their own family. There was lots of nodding of heads. We agreed that it can be difficult or sad when we are singled out for our differences.
After watching someone else's story, groups were formed so that everyone could share parts of their own story. The groups were made up of different aged students and not necessarily the same teachers they have had so far this year.

     The sharing and vulnerability that followed amazed me. I walked around the room and heard both students and adults sharing times when they felt different or singled out. Everyone was listening intently and respectful of the other's experiences. It was a safe place....even for those who were not ready to share. One 5th grade girl raised her hand in her group and said, "I have felt like that boy in the video but I don't really want to talk about it now." Everyone in her group let that level of sharing be ok.

     Because the gospel for the day was the baptism of Jesus (Mark 1:4-11), we made the connection to our baptism. We are all claimed and loved by God, just as we are. As the video stated, "We all are God's masterpiece." In voicing and sharing our stories, we acknowledge our own and each other's beloved relationship with God.

     I want those students (and those teachers) to know that church is not a place where we have to be perfect. I want them to know in their bones it is a place where broken imperfect people come to share in God's perfect love for all of us. We are a gift to each other in the sharing of ourselves and our stories as we live into the grace of God.

So...thanks to the work of the Holy Spirit...Sunday School was perfect yesterday.
~ Pam

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2015 Word of the Year

1/3/2015

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I have been tentative about claiming my word for 2015. Each year I begin making a list of words that are good possibilities. Even if they aren't "the one", they usually lead me to my final decision. Here is my working list this year:
Invitation
Hospitality
Joy
Stretch
Make
Imagine
Adventure
Explore

All good words but none of them felt right. I also choose a word by the way it sounds to me as I say it or even think it. On New Year's Day my word came to me - risk. Knowing me, you can see why I needed two days to live into it. I am organized, careful, thoughtful. I will try new things...after much thought, weighing the pros and cons carefully. In general that has been a good practice for me. But maybe it is time to stretch myself, not only in my actions but in my process. That is different than be risky. I want to risk for the sake of growth not just for the thrill. I think of risk as a decision that happens in the moment. There are positive and negative consequences from the decision but they all may not be clear at that time.

Maybe this decision has been informed by three movies I have seen in the past three days: Big Eyes, Wild and Frozen. They all are stories about women making bold choices to become more than they are. Acting on a decision which will take them out of a place that is safe and maybe not really working for them anymore. I don't think I will be moving to Hawaii or hiking the Pacific Crest Trail or "letting it all go" but I do think there is room for change.

This is the quote that will be in front of me all year:
The most important thing to remember is this: to be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become. – W. E. B. Du Bois

And so the hardest part in choosing this word is that I do not know how it will start to show up in my life. Sort of scary for the planner in me. So... I will be watchful and ready for when the opportunity presents itself...and then take a risk!
*gulp*

~ Pam

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January Risk

Nurturing Faith with Conversation

2015 Word of the Year

Pam Voves

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