My word for 2012 was challenge. It took me places I never thought I would go. It also gave me a reason to be bold:  a reason to try new things and venture outside my box. I also found that as the year went on, I became more confident in trying new things. Of course I can do "Y", because I just did "X". I realized that while completing a specific challenge was a moment to celebrate, in many of the cases the larger learning and personal satisfaction came in the knowledge that it was dedication and persistent work that got me to that "end" moment.

So here are my big challenges from 2012 in the order in which they happened.
My first "challenge":  Choosing a word for the year
This intrigued me. Would I stick with it? Would  it just be more pressure to do one more thing? Would I be imposing another task on  myself? I found that it brought out the playful side of me. "Yes! I can do  that! It is my year of challenge!" It gave me an excuse to try new things and to  push myself. After all, my word wasn't "succeed"' it was "challenge".

Art class at the Morton Arboretum
I have always wanted to do this but have felt  too intimidated. Do I have the talent and confidence to claim I am an artist and  sit in a room with others who claim the same thing? I learned (again) that  artists are some of the most generous and encouraging people. Probably because  we all have that doubt somewhere inside. This was a
great chance to learn new  things and re-affirm that I am an artist.

On-line Lenten Art Retreat
This experience along with the art class at the arboretum, led me to express myself in brand new art forms. Ones
that now prioritze to do each week in moments of both prayer and playfulness.

Create a website in the area of Family  Ministry
At the beginning of the year, this idea was bubbling just under the  surface. I had started mining information from friends who have expertise in the  field. It seemed so overwhelming. I just didn't know where to begin. Then a  continuing education opportunity fell in my lap. One that would help me create a  website  specifically for life in the church and matters of faith formation! The materials from Vibrant Faith Ministries touted that I would have a website up and going by the  end of the weekend. It was a great conference. I learned a lot and my website www.creativefamilyministry.com was born. I have loved working on it ever since!

Write a blog
I have wanted to do this for a while. Creating my website gave me a perfect excuse to try. I enjoy the process of writing. It is another creative outlet for me. I enjoy writing on topics that others might find helpful  or inspiring. I also like writing posts just for myself. It is a challenge every  time I write, not only the process itself, but the leap in vulnerability it takes in putting myself out there.

Hike
This challenge is definitely a  work in progress. I hope to do more in 2013. I took a day hike at Pike's Peak  State Park in Iowa. I loved it. I hiked alone which was a big thing for me. I  have no sense of direction. My hope was that I would build some confidence that  I could do this and not get lost. As I am here to write on December 31: mission accomplished. Being surrounded by God's beauty was invigorating. I loved the  idea of moving through the world on my own power. I have always loved walking  and so hiking seems like a natural extension of that. More to come in  2013....

Run the Soldier Field 10
I just wrote that I love walking. I  DO NOT love running! This was my most demanding challenge of the year. It  involved training for 3 months and then running in the actual event. A friend  suggested this challenge to me. He knew the fact that this 10 mile run finishes  on the 50 yard line in Soldier Field would be the tipping point. It was. I  trained: ran in the rain, ran in the cold, nurtured and worked through an  injury, and ran, ran, ran for 3 months. Then the day of the event came. It was a  freezing Memorial Day weekend. I did it. I cried as I entered the back tunnel of  Soldier Field and stepped onto the turf.  I was so proud of myself and so glad  it was done. Who knows? Maybe I will do it again this year?! (A huge thank  you to my training partner Jim!)

Write and implement a new  curriculum
At our church last fall we decided to follow a program called  Unbinding Your Heart. I wrote a curriculum for our Sunday School - preschool  through middle school. I didn't hold back. I wrote in all the activities and learning opportunities that I thought would be great. (I didn't worry about the  details at the time.) Then...I had to figure
out a way for 120 kids and their  teachers in nine classes to do it! It took more work and nerves then I imagined  to implement it, but it was great.

Attend, survive and enjoy (!) a  conference about leading the church's song
I am not a singer. I know choir directors/teachers do not like to hear those words. But really...for some people  singing in public is the scariest thing they can do. Take me for example. At  this conference (Music That Makes Community), I learned some really helpful  techniques for leading singing without words and music in front of each person.  I even (*gulp*) sang alone and unaccompanied in front of a group of people. It  took some very gentle and gracious leadership, but I did it! And now I have done  it a few more times in my congregation with the children and families.  Participating in this challenge made me reach deep down and find courage I  wasn't sure I had.

Game day themed meals for Chicago Bear football games
I didn't realize this would become a "challenge" but the fact I work on Sunday mornings, sometimes right up until kick off, made me prioritize this fun and creative outlet. Also the fact that so many people followed my menus on Facebook encouraged me to continue on days when I was already spent by noon. My family tried lots of new foods and micro-brewed beer. I also ended up listening to a lot of the games on the radio in the kitchen with Tom Thayer and Jeff Joniak. (That was a fun bonus!)

Thank you to all of you who supported me in my individual challenges as the year progressed. It was fun. And as a friend told me, "you don't have to stop challenging yourself even though this year is done." We'll see what happens next. Happy 2012!

    Recently I was having a conversation with a friend about raising compassionate and caring children. We agreed that one important determining factor is creating a culture in your family that values and encourages those traits. Specific activities like sharing small acts of kindness, reading books to your children on those topics, and modeling caring behaviors are necessary to creating something larger – a culture that defines your family.

    I was thinking about this in regard to my family growing up. My parents encouraged these behaviors in me. On one specific day every year I remember these lessons being taught very clearly – Halloween. This is the day when kids naturally are self-consumed. You look forward to this day all year: picking out and wearing your costume, waiting until school is finally done, going out in the neighborhood to trick-or-treat. The goal: getting as much
candy as you can. As a kid, that is the reality of Halloween – getting lots of candy. That is also the day my mom taught my brother and I two important lessons:
     1.      It’s not always about you.
     2.      Remember the people who are easily forgotten.

    Each year my brother and I had two special stops to make while trick-or-treating: the homes of two elderly women.  They each had a hard time moving around so didn’t answer the door for trick-or-treaters. But every year they looked for us to stop. We were instructed to go to a side door where each woman would greet us. One had special candy and the other gave us brand new dime store coloring books and crayons. The expectation was we were supposed to make small talk with each woman. They asked us what grade we were in and how we liked school. We did this begrudgingly because it took precious time from scouring the neighborhood for our loot. The
reality was it was maybe 30 seconds of conversation. Now I am older and I know how important those 30 seconds are to someone who does not get regular visitors, let alone children. Even though I didn't fully understand the implication of those visits then, I knew as a child they were important. I was somehow aware that something else was going on...not just trick-or-treating.

     Both of these not-quite but almost housebound women are among the many kinds of people who are easily forgotten. They don’t cause a fuss. They don’t call attention to themselves and want to be a bother to others. They can get by generally on their own. But yet, they need human contact and compassion like the rest of us. Maybe even more. I learned that it is up to me (and all of us) to remember them. To take time to visit, write, or call. Now on the days when it is all about me, or at least all about my busy schedule, I know there are people who ache for someone to care. I remember the moments standing in a doorway dressed as a witch, telling an old woman about the books I was reading. I remember the power of a simple conversation.

    I learned those lessons because my mom lived them and made sure my brother and I did too. It wasn't so much about the specific acts of kindness. My mom wanted us to know that the value was in the people and the relationships that received our kindness.  It was our family culture to remember and care for people. We did it not with a lot of fanfare. We did it because it was – and is- who we are. And now I think about the culture in my own family and what my daughter has learned. She too, has learned those same lessons. When she was little she followed my lead. Now I am proud to see her finding her own way to care for others and share her compassionate heart with the world.

      During the season of Advent I find I am always at odds with myself to slow down. I know that’s what I should do – except I have so much to do! When I can capture it, the slow pace seems to mirror the shorter days. It is dark. Scripture reminds us, “darkness will cover the earth”. (Isaiah 60) The dark in these early winter days is different than the dark we feel two months from now. Today we sense the underlying hope that is only 2 weeks away. We celebrate the coming of the Light into the world while we are still in the depths of winter. It doesn’t matter! “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.” (John 1)

      This December I have been taken in by the music of Advent. I started keeping a visual journal of my reflections on the liturgical year beginning December 2, the first Sunday in Advent. As I add images to the page, it is the scripture inspired music that keeps coming to me.
      First it was the phrase from O, Come, O, Come Emmanuel: “ransom captive Israel, that mourns in lonely exile here.” At Faith we are singing two verses of this each week in a cappella as a congregation. That slow simple melody matches the mood of lonely exile. I think of friends who are struggling with loneliness or who are mourning dreams that got away. For my visual journal, I tried to find imagines that embody the constant whisper of prayers that rise from our own deserts every day. “O, Come, O Come.”
      Then yesterday the Song of Zachariah was foremost on my mind. In Luke 1, John the Baptist’s father prophesies about God using his son who will prepare the way. I wasn’t just reading it, I was humming it! It used as a canticle for Morning Prayer. “By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us.” It continues, “to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death.” There it is again. The light breaking through whatever darkness we are in. This time in my journal I pictured God's light breaking through human time.

      For me the brightest lights this December are not from the trees and houses that decorate my neighborhood. They come from the increasing number of candles each week on the Advent Wreath. They remind me again and again that Christ’s light is stronger than our darkness. 
      Is there an Advent (or Christmas) hymn that speaks to you this year? How is God breaking through into your life?

Hopes and Fears: Everyday Theology for New Parents and Other Tired, Anxious People by Bromleigh McCleneghan and Lee Hull Moses

     I highly recommend this book for mothers with young children. This would make a great gift! It first caught my eye because it was co-written by two pastors who are mothers of young children - or for the sake of this book, two mothers who also are pastors.

     I was hoping that this book would address the complexity of combining the practical issues of parenting with the high hopes and ideals each new mom has for herself and her children as she begins parenting. It met and exceeded my expectations. The authors, McCleneghan and Moses, alternate writing chapters. I felt like I was back with the other moms in my daughter's playgroup chatting away and lamenting about how to do things "right". (The beauty of my playgroup was we affirmed for each other there was no right way.) The authors combine the spirituality of parenting and what that looks like in the reality of day to day family life.

     A section that spoke to me began like this, "We're often afraid, despite our trust in God, to admit we are not actually keeping it together all that well. Some of us worry that if we let the little things start to slip, we're edging one step closer to the edge of crazy - and if we are not careful, we'll fall into the crevasse. Worse, if we start to fall, someone will notice."
There is lots of grace in this book. The calling of pastor for each of these women is seen and felt as the reader is given space to make mistakes and try again as she does the best she can for her family. The reader is also lifted up and given permission to grow spiritually in her call as mother.

It is not so much a "how to" book as it is a "Yes, you can!" book. Something every new mother needs to hear...again and again.

It is an e-book available in the following formats:
Kindle
Nook
iBook

Paper versions of this book are available through Alban Publishing.

     Recently I went for a walk on one of our balmy Chicago December evenings, (I know...balmy!) through one of my favorites places - the University of Chicago campus in Hyde Park. History is thick there. You can't escape it.

   I walked past the sight where the first-ever controlled self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction took place in 1942. I paused for a moment unable to wrap my head around the implications of that experiment. How the world is so different now than it was in 1942. How that chain reaction changed us: not only scientifically but also our humanity. I kept moving because I was not in the right head-space to take the care needed to think deeply about that.
 
      Next I walked along the Midway Plaisance, which was the center of amusements during the World's Columbian Exposition in 1893. It was where all the strange and amazing "human attractions" were located:  like belly dancers from Egypt, hula dancers from Hawaii, exotic animals from all over the world and even America's own Buffalo Bill Cody who crashed the party. Each time I walk that mile long stretch of now beautifully manicured landscape, I feel surrounded by the ghosts of 1893. It must have felt like the world had shrunk exponentially during those summer and fall months of that year. I can't imagine what the people who attended thought of all the wonders they saw with their own eyes! I imagine hearing the lingering mixture of countless languages - coming from both humans and creatures.
 
      My walk this evening in Hyde Park includes passing by Rockefeller Chapel. (It is pictured with the blog post for anyone who has never seen it. It is far from humble that the word chapel implies.) This is one of the reasons why I love this place. Because here is where my history is intertwined with the world's history. Rockefeller Chapel is where my graduation ceremony was held when I finished my studies at the Lutheran School of Theology in Chicago. I never imagined myself going to seminary let alone graduating. But here I was, walking down the long magnificent aisle following streamers and banners and my classmates. Wow! A sight almost as amazing as the belly dancers in 1893! 

     I love to walk through this neighborhood because it escorts me through time. I have never been to Europe, where I'm sure people there encounter daily this sensation of overlapping personal and world history. I am here...in Chicago: grateful for the balmy December weather, the physical ability to stroll through beautiful places, the sensory connection I feel to the long line of humanity and history that came before me, and the love of friends in my life now, who have a delicious bowl of soup waiting for me at the end of this walk.

     Life is good.

~Pam